Eleanor had her sixth month checkup with the pediatrician today. She is 26 inches tall and weighs 15.9 pounds. Her head circumference is 17 inches. Translation: she is healthy and growing well. Very nice!

What wasn't so nice was yet another visit with Dr. Monkey Butt. I know, I need a new pediatrician. Yes, I have been told many times this is the case, but I am so disheartened with the medical establishment at this point, I can't really see the point in bothering to switch. Our appointment today was at 9:00, the first appointment of the day. I assumed this meant we would be in and out relatively quickly, but you know what they say when you "assume." We got there at 10 minutes to 9 so I could check in, pay and fill out that total bullshit paperwork they make me fill out every damn time I take any of the kids in for a well visit and which, as far as I can tell, no one ever looks at (I'm going to test this theory at the next visit and fill in a bunch of random stuff and see if anyone notices). At 9:00 they call us and we head into the exam room, so far so good.

The nurse did Eleanor's measurements and then left with a "The doctor will be right in!" assurance. 15 minutes and all our snacks later he came in. Check up lasts all of about 8 minutes. Longer than 5 minutes only because I mentioned that Eleanor has decided she does not want to eat solid food anymore. Dr. Monkey Butt was very concerned and recommended an appointment with an eating specialist at Children's Hospital in Boston. Ummm..don't you think that is a little extreme? So I say "Well, maybe I'll give it a little longer and let you know how it goes." Dr. Monkey Butt: "Well, if she was eating solids fine at 4 months and has stopped you shouldn't wait too long because after 6 months they need the iron and zinc from cereal or meat." Me: "4 months? Umm..no...as I just said she started solids more like 3 weeks ago (you unbelievable monkey's ass)" (That last part was just in my head). And he acts like a haven't said a damn thing and continues "Yes, well the iron is very important after 6 months." This is my third child you jackass. I know the drill.

Then, he goes through his little checklist of stuff he always says.."Water heater turned down...not left in bath until at least 3 years of age...guns locked up...blah blah blah." And he says "And she always is put to sleep on her back right?" I say nothing, just stare at him. I am thinking "Well, she mostly sleep on her side, but I think he is really just asking if I put get to sleep on her stomach..." I have most definitely not answered him, but apparently that doesn't deter him because he answers FOR me and says 'Yes, always on her back" and just keeps going!! Really, I could have left her at home for all the notice he took of either of us. He said nothing about her eye pigment after the "eye exam." Now a more generous person would think that he had noticed the reference in her chart that she has been to see the eye doctor and he felt her eye was fine. I, however, honestly think he did not even notice the large dark patch in her eye because, stop me if I have said this before, he is a giant jackass, monkey's ass, crap for brains, waste of my fucking time.

Okay, I have vented and feel a little better now. The visit ended with the nurse taking another 15 minutes to come back to give Eleanor her shots (I let her know I was irritated) and then on the way out we needed to make her 9 month appointment. The receptionist looks at her computer and says "Okay, so her next appointment will have to be in June." Huh? I said "Um, that seems awfully late, don't you have anything in May?" and she says "Yes, but her birthday is at the end of the month." Are you following this? Because I was having a hell of a time, so I say "Yes, but she will be 9 months at the end of April, not May." The receptionist looks at the computer for a moment and then says "Oh yes, i see. How about May 7th?" I know, I can't believe I trust my children's health to this flock of morons.

Okay, no really, now I have vented and feel better. On a nicer note, the boys have been playing really well together today. By that I mean that we have had a minimum about of hitting, pushing and biting. Of course that may be because they have been united in a common mission to destroy the house by taking every toy they own out and throwing it on the floor. The fact that I am okay with that activity since it has allowed the decrease in fighting says a lot about our week.

However, in an effort to be positive, I am thankful that they have found something they enjoy doing together. Eleanor, meanwhile, has discovered her feet and could not be happier. She loves to hold onto her feet whenever she can, and is extremely proud when she manages to get all her toes into her mouth. Hammie has discovered tic-tacs, which he pronounces "pick-axe." I think this is hysterical. Fraser is now wearing underwear to bed! No more diapers for him! I'm very proud of him, but also a little sad since it really seems like he is not my little baby anymore (I'm getting teary just thinking about it). So yes, all in all it has been quite a week here.