Lately I feel like my brain has been upgraded to windows vista. Eleanor is sleeping somewhat better (she gets up 3 or 4 times at night to eat, but since I don't even get out of bed to feed her that's not a huge deal) and the boys have been sleeping great despite ongoing colds. So, in general, you would think my brain would be operating more efficiently than before. However, my new operating system seems to have some major flaws and the input of any new data whatsoever causes the entire system to crash. Honestly, completing a thought is like swimming through a vast pit of grape jelly, incredibly slow going and I never know where the hell I'm going to end up. What does jelly have to do with vista? Not a damn thing as far as I can tell. See what I mean?

This morning I was driving Fraser to preschool, with Hammie and Eleanor of course, and listening to NPR. I don't usually listen to NPR (I'm more of a country music radio fan) but lately I have been listening to it in the morning for 2 reasons. First, I find the voices of the NPR people very soothing (maybe because at no point are they screaming "MOMMY!!!"). Second, I enjoy feeling like I am a well educated adult for about 15 minutes a day. Unfortunately this morning that plan backfired spectacularly. You see, this morning I was listening to a segment about Yemen. They were talking about the fighting in Yemen and the current position of opposing sides. I can't really tell you much more about the segment, because my thought process while I was listening went something like this: "Yemen...I remember that Friends episode where Chandler tells Janice he is moving to Yemen, that was funny....they're fighting in Yemen?...about what?....sounds like they have been fighting a long time....who is exactly is fighting.....and where the hell is Yemen anyway....the middle east?....Hmmm....When Chandler was getting on the plane the woman he asked if he could stay with her in Yemen looked like she could have been from the middle east....Holy crap, I can't believe I am relying on Friends for my knowledge of world geography...they should revoke my college diploma....why didn't I study anything freaking useful in college...it's just as well I don't go out and talk to adults anymore since they would probably think I am a total moron who has no idea where Yemen is....WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT???"

That last part was not in reference to the NPR report, but to the splattering noise coming from the back of the minivan that interrupted the NPR report. I looked into the rear view mirror just in time to see a second round of vomit come shooting out of Hammie's mouth. Now Fraser starts crying "MOMMY!" and trying to wiggle as far away from Hammie as his car seat will allow and Hammie just starts crying. We're only a few blocks from school so I just yelled "Hang on Hammie!" and plowed on. When we got there I unloaded Fraser ("Don't step in your brother's puke!") and flagged down another mother heading in with her son ("Can you walk Fraser in for me? My other son just threw up all over the car.") Then I open the van door and get a very moist, very unhappy Hammie out of his very vomit covered car seat. I strip him down to his diaper (it is 25 degrees out) and put my shirt on him (luckily I have a tank top bra on so I am still wearing something). Then I put Hammie back in Fraser's car seat and home we go.

I had great intentions of achieving many things while Fraser was at preschool today (dishes, vacuuming, general cleaning). Instead I spent the time taking apart and washing all the parts of Hammie's car seat and cleaning out the car. This isn't necessarily a waste of time since both the car and car seat really did desperately need to be cleaned, but the fact that it started snowing while I was attempting to complete this task almost drove me over the edge. So, then back in the car, this time in the snow, and back to Fraser's school. We didn't have much snow at this point, maybe a half inch, but it was super slick. We get to the rotary and this guy in a jeep wrangler is coming up to the rotary while we are going around. I think "Huh. That guy is going kinda fast considering how slippery it is." The next thing I know his car is sliding right at the front of my car. I stopped dead and just stared at him. He stares at me. So there we are, staring at each other with his car just sliding toward me. He stopped inches away from my bumper and we just sort of stared at each other for a second and then he kind of waves and puts his car in reverse.

Yes, it's true that we didn't get into an accident, and I am very very very grateful for that. And it isn't like I could have pulled some expert driving evasive maneuver to avoid the accident anyway. But it is also true that my brain did not even begin to respond in any respect to the danger sliding slowly toward me and my children, and even my heartbeat didn't kick up a notch until well after the Wrangler guy had backed up out of the rotary and we were headed again toward preschool. No, in true vista style my brain froze, refused to re-boot, and when it finally did get going it simply reverted back to a completely irrelevant program that had been running earlier, and as I drove on I found myself thinking "I bet this crap doesn't happen in Yemen."