As I rocked Fraser at 4:45 this morning, when he had already been awake for 45 minutes and was up for the seventh time last night, I started to think: Why should I give him away to the gypsies when I could make a tidy profit if I sold him on e-bay? Fortunately for Fraser, as I started to consider all the things I could do with the money he finally drifted off to sleep, a state in which he would remain for a blessed hour and 47 minutes before he was up for the day.

It's funny really. When I was pregnant all the books and articles I read pointed out how amusing I would eventually find it that 75% of my adult conversations would involve a discussion of Fraser's bowel movements (frequency, color, consistency). At the time I read this I honestly didn't find it amusing at all. I didn't find it horrifying either since I figured that sort of thing simply didn't apply to me (sort of like how I skipped all the chapters with information on recovery after a c-section which I was sure I would never need to know). In reality very few of the precious moments I spend conversing with adults are spent discussing the contents of Fraser's diapers. Fraser's sleeping habits, however, are a totally different story.

I don't think I can remember the last conversation I had, spoken or over e-mail, that didn't include some discussion of Fraser's sleep, or lack there of. When my parents call they ask how he slept last night (horribly). When I talk to friends I haven't spoken to in awhile they ask if he's sleeping through the night yet (no, but it would make me feel better if I could just slap you instead of responding to that). When friends call who I do speak to regularly they ask with sympathy whether the sleeping situation has improved at all (no, actually I think it's worse, please shoot me). And, of course, most everyone has some advice to share. (Last night Andy decided to test the theory that if we stuffed Fraser full of rice cereal like a piñata he would sleep better. Not only did he not sleep better but at 4:00 he was farting so loud he sounded like the percussion section of the Boston Pops).

It's not that I mind discussing Fraser's sleep, or even that I dislike hearing the advice people give (Hell, I'm so desperate I'll try almost anything), but I'm starting to wonder what I am going to discuss once Fraser (oh please God) actually starts sleeping through the night. I suppose I will simply have to find something else to obsess over when that time actually comes. I'm sure there will be something exciting going on in his life when he finally sleeps for eight consecutive hours that I will be able to discuss ad nauseamm with any poor fool who is unlucky enough to engage me in conversation. You know, "Fraser is talking now, and it's not even all curse words!" or "Fraser will be taking his driver's test next week. We're so proud!"