The following is an excerpt from the e-mail I sent to Andy today and I think accurately captures my current feelings regarding Fraser's medical care...

We just got back from the pediatrician. The good news is it looks like Fraser is good on the soy formula so we should stick with that. The bad news is that I am growing more and more dissatisfied with our pediatrician. Fraser and I waited 45 minutes in the exam room for him to come in. Fraser was only wearing his diaper. When he finally did come in he had no idea why we were there. READ YOUR FUCKING CHART. Can you imagine if you asked a client to come back in 2 weeks and when they did you were like "Why are you here?" ARGH!! Then I told him Fraser had blood in his stool this morning but I was relatively sure it was from an anal fissure b/c he went when his diaper was off and I could see the blood was only at the beginning and only on the surface. He asked if the stool was harder than usual and I said VERBATIM "No. His stool has changed consistency since we increased the amount of formula we give him. It's more the consistency of peanut butter now, but no, no it wasn't harder than it has been." So he basically says, "Well I'll test the stool for blood but I won't be able to tell if it is only on the surface." No shit Sherlock. So I tell him that I didn't bring the diaper and he says "No problem, I'll just use my finger to stimulate him to go" and I say "But he is only pooping once a day or once every 2 days now and he just went before we came so I don't think he has any left." and he gives me his best condescending doctor look and says "It will work."

It doesn't work. All it does is really really tick Fraser off who pees all over the place (good for him). The doctor then examines him and lo and behold finds an anal fissure which he points out to me and then begins to explain what it is. You god damn fucking moron I just TOLD you he had a fissure I KNOW what the fuck it is. Unbelievable. I can't believe I am trusting my son's health and well being to this dumber-than-a-monkey's-ass doctor. So Dr. MonkeyButt leaves to let his "sample" dry (I don't' think he got shit, no pun intended) and says he'll be back in 5 minutes. 10 minutes later I am getting really annoyed and I happen to notice that he has left Fraser's chart behind. I look at his notes and he has written "Blood in diaper this morning. Stool was harder than usual." What the FUCK!!! How was "NO IT IS NOT HARDER THAN USUAL" unclear?!? Clearly this jagoff just didn't listen and wrote down what he figured my answer would be.

By the time he came back I was downright pissed. I didn't make any attempt to disguise my frustration and I would think that even he realized by the time I left that I was not happy. Of course I would also think that someone so well educated could manage to schedule appointments appropriately so as not to leave clients waiting for close to an hour, know to read your notes before meeting a client so as to avoid looking like and incompetent ass, and actually listen to a full 15 second explanation before drawing any conclusions. So for all I know as I walked out the door he thought, "There goes another satisfied patient. Gosh I'm a wonderful doctor." Moron.

So of course Fraser missed his nap time and was all out of sorts by the time we finally got out of there. He is now asleep in his car seat on the dining room table and I'm sure he'll be a royal cranklepuss when he wakes up. Not that I could blame him. Dealing with such a monumental incompetent goober has certainly ruined my day.