Okay, so I am usually pretty tolerant of other people's parenting styles. After having three kids I don't fault any mother for getting snippy with her child in public, choosing not to fight the "we need to wipe the food off your face" battle before leaving the house, or treating themselves to an extra glass of wine because hell, it's Thursday, and who doesn't want an extra glass of wine on Thursday? I don't fault working mothers for working or stressed out mothers for taking a weekend away without their kids (or husbands). I respect mothers who choose public school, who choose private school, or choose to home school. You know your child and your family best, and who am I to criticize or condemn how you choose to make your family life work?


That said.... the one thing that I absolutely cannot stand and drives me so crazy that it will actually cause my heart to race, breath to speed up and forehead to break out in a cold sweat, is when parents make excuses for something their child has done wrong instead of just owning up to it. For example, we were at the preschool play at the YMCA today. They set up a bunch of mats on the gymnastics floor and let the kids run around like crazy. Eleanor loves the open play, mostly because she has to spend the previous 2 hours watching her brothers have swim class and then gymnastics class before she actually gets to participate in the open play. I am pretty relaxed about the kids running into each other, and Eleanor does sometimes get knocked over, but she bounces back and is fine (she does have two older brothers, so getting knocked around a little goes with the territory). Today there was a little boy there who was I think not quite 2 yet. He was climbing up a mat and came up behind Eleanor and shoved her hard enough that she fell over. She didn't cry, she just looked at him like "What the hell?" Then she got up and moved on. I chalked it up to the general excitement of a pack of children running like a pack of wolves. The second time he ran up facing her and pushed her over his mother noticed and said "Now Ethan, that isn't nice. We don't push people." Okay, I might have phrased my reproof more strongly, but like I said, to each her own parenting style.


The third time Ethan attacked he came up behind Eleanor while she was standing on top of a stack of mats. He shoved her so hard that she flew off the mats, landed on her head, and then finished flipping over and landed on her back. It was so violent that even the other kids stopped running and just stared. Eleanor was, obviously, crying so I picked her up and was checking her and patting her back. Ethan's mother ran over and was clearly upset. She asked if Eleanor was okay and then she said.... wait for it....


"He just didn't know what he was doing."


Heart racing, breath speeds up, cold sweat.


Look, I'm not saying this kid is a violent future felon who should be locked away. I don't even think he was displaying any particular malice when he shoved Eleanor. I do understand that kids push, and hit, and even sometimes bite because they are kids. However, I am damn sure that Ethan knew exactly what he was doing when he shoved Eleanor. No, he may not have understood that the consequence of shoving her was going to be her first flip through the air, but he knew he was shoving her and he knew he had been told not to do it before. So yes, if this had been my child there would definitely have been more severe consequences than the "Now Ethan, I told you not to shove that little girl" and following snuggle that was doled out to Ethan, at the very least a time out but more likely an end to that outing. And no, this wasn't my child (this time) who did the shoving, so I'm not in charge of the repercussions, but for pete's sake lady, if your kid acts like a jackass just own it. "I am so sorry my son pushed your daughter! Is she okay? Ethan, that was totally unacceptable!" No excuse, no "oh my boy is such an angel i am sure he just didn't know what he was doing!" Is that too much to ask for??


This photo has absolutely nothing to do with the blog entry, but I just think it so freaking cute!