Last night Eleanor slept for 5 hours in a row! This was a blessing on many levels since I am generally exhausted from having a newborn, the kids and I all have colds, and I had one of those days yesterday when you know that you can't run out to the Cumberland Farms for milk at the end of the day because if you get in the car by yourself there is no way you are ever coming back. Yes, the past two weeks have been quite the learning experience for me. Some of the more important things I have learned in the past 10 days:

No matter how full my garage is of every toy any child could possibly want to play with my boys will infinitely prefer to play in any large pile of dirt they can find.

No matter what I say before, during or after preschool Fraser will cry hysterically when I leave.

Be careful what you wish for (see last post).

Hammie is shockingly better behaved when his brother isn't around to piss him off.

Yes, it is very cute when the boys give Eleanor kisses, if you try not to think too much about the fact that they are also wiping their noses on her.

It is not a good idea to shoot the only other person who is trying to help bail out your sinking ship just because some days you think he is not bailing fast enough.

If mama ain't happy ain't nobody happy.

I used to think the lyrics to Rodney Atkins' song "Cleaning this Gun" were funny, now I find myself thinking he may be on to something... "Come on in boy, sit on down And tell me 'bout yourself So you like my daughter, do you now Yeah we think she's something else She's her daddy's girl, her momma's world She deserves respect, that’s what she'll get Now ain't it son, y’all go out, have some fun I'll see you when you get back Probably be up all night Still cleaning this gun."

I also find myself wondering if Andy will be sufficiently intimidating to teenage boys, and thinking perhaps he should get a tattoo and we should soon begin circulating the rumor that Eleanor's daddy did a little time in the slammer.

In the middle of all the screaming, biting, smacking, hair pulling, toy stealing of the day the boys will suddenly do something very sweet and cooperative. It is best to focus on those few minutes of the day, instead of the rest of the day, if I want to avoid killing them.

"Running in" to Walmart to buy diapers and wipes instead of just going back home to get the diaper bag I forgot does not actually save any time or aggravation.

"Cooking" dinner will likely be something of a joke for several months.

Despite the fact that Pablo was a real pain before he died, I still think about him and miss him every day.

I apologize for the fact that I ever thought people were lame when they discussed how great it is that minivans are like rolling living rooms. Now I spend my time wondering why no one has yet invented the minivan that includes a kitchen and bathroom (a fold-down changing table would be nice too.)

Yes, I realize the prior entry describes an RV, something I hate. Shut up.

I must have at least one cup of coffee per day if I, or my offspring, are to survive.

Eleanor appears to love shopping about as much as I do, and screams from the moment we step inside any store until the moment we get back into the car.

The more kids we have the more appealing living on a farm seems to be. This is not only because I think the space would be good for them, we could be sure of where at least some of our food comes from, and my idealized vision of farm life allows me to believe I could insulate them from more of the more unsavory aspects of the world, but also because we could more easily put them to work and they could finally begin earning their keep.

The Omnivores Dilemma should be required reading for every parent (well, really for every person).

Having something scheduled every day of the week, which requires you to be someplace on time every day of the week, when you have three children age 3 and under is a bad idea.

Trying to go shopping for anything with three children age 3 and under is a really bad idea

Taking on a large project with a deadline when you have three children age 3 and under is a phenomenally bad idea.

Typing something this long with one hand is a real pain in the ass.