So I have spent my "free time" this afternoon (i.e. time when both boys are, by some miracle of God, asleep at the same time) trying to fill out passport applications for Fraser and Hammie (at total disaster and HUGE pain in my ass.) I have been attempting this process on about 3 hours of sleep since Hammie refused, and I do mean refused, to sleep in more than 20 minute snippets and screamed all bloody night long. So, I decided that despite the fact that it is now 2:30 in the afternoon, I needed to make myself another pot of coffee. While in the kitchen I happened to notice the mailing that I had put on top of the microwave to show Andy. It is an offer for "Backwoods Home" magazine. I put it there because the offer includes "Our Most Important Issue in a Decade. Special Preparedness Issue." (While I am looking at the flier I open the microwave.) I saved this for Andy because, and I am not making this up, the "Special Preparedness Issue" includes important articles on such topics as "Why you should buy extra ammo and guns now, before the November Election" and "How to build a preparedness pantry that will keep you in food for a year." I can't believe (a) they actually print this crap and (b) somehow I ended up on the mailing list!

That's right my friends, this was not mailed to my husband who, with his dozen tractor magazine subscriptions and country folks newspaper subscription, might be a logical target for this freak show mailing. Oh no, it was mailed to ME! What exactly made these wack-jobs decide I would be interested in their "survival guide"? Was it my subscription to shape magazine or my donation to the ASPCA? Or, and this was my thought as I stared into the empty microwave, did they target me based on where I live? Am I so far away from New York (or at least Boston) the (apparently) only civilized center of society left, that these zealots actually think I could be one of them? And if I do really live so far out in god-forsaken -nowhere that the militia are recruiting here, what does that say about the future for my sons?

I like to consider myself a pretty (okay very) open minded person, and I feel I could be supportive of most any (legal) decisions my boys make for themselves. They can be vegetarians or chose to backpack through Europe after high school, they can go to college on the west coast or restore antique tractors, they can be gay or die their hair purple, they can move to Costa Rica to work in the peace core, hell they can even decide to be registered republicans. But I swear, if they ever ever EVER turn into one of those ATV driving, camo wearing, gun toting, deer killing, MORONS that would actually sign up for this psychotic piece of crap magazine I will KILL them.

So, as I stared blankly into the microwave I thought I had better get back to working on those passport applications so I can beat some culture into Hammie and Fraser before the local militia come calling. So I closed the microwave, since I couldn't remember what I was doing in there anyway (does anyone remember? I did say what I was going to the kitchen for if you were paying attention), and came back to the computer. So now I am debating whether I should just guess how "tall" Hammie is, or wait for him to wake up so I can measure him....